So I'm sure a majority of the topics in this particular part of the forum all all help me I don't get it issues, so I apologize in advance

So I tried doing this almost a year ago with no luck banging my head against a wall for hours before I gave up. I've now spent a couple more hours reading over information, trying to search for similar issues, etc.. etc..
On this particular comp I run a 64 bit vista with access to laptops running XP sp2. I've managed to have the computer recognize my player as a UMD, and that's as far as I've gotten. The utility won't recognize it, and strangely it creates 2 drives when plugged in. One functional, and the other more of a pseudo. I've tried the sansapatcher... no luck recognizing it even though I know I've changed it. Utility won't work. Extracting the files directly to it hasn't changed anything. What's left? I'm out of ideas..