Apology, and a period of break.

[Llorean]

Apparently I'm too arrogant for my own good. Or something. It's not something I understand, and that's why I'm writing this.

I write posts that, if received, I would read, nod, say "okay" and not get angry about. At least the vast majority of the time. I can think of maybe three instances where I've written an email or forum posting that I've looked back on and thought "I shouldn't have done that." But I get a very negative response, it seems more and more constantly.

It's becoming somewhat clear to me that I'm not able to relate with normal people in a reasonable way. I lack the basic understanding of how people will read "tone" in things I type, where for me they're written word and should be read based on the specific meanings rather than anything implied. The latter method seems to depend too much on the emotions and even specific mood a time of reading of the user.

To everyone I've upset. I'm sorry. It's not my intention. I know you don't believe this, and at this point I know there's nothing I can really say that will make you believe this. It's that whole "emotional context" thing that I don't really get. I can't say I'm sorry for my behaviour, since I don't understand why it upsets people. This is something I'll work on. I'm genuinely sorry that I have upset you though, for whatever reason.

So I'm taking a break from active Rockbox participation. I'm resigning from forum administration. I won't be posting on these mailing lists unless it's a matter I think is extremely important, since my sincere efforts to investigate ways to improve Rockbox seem to just backfire. Since I'm resigning from the steering board too, congratulations to Thom Johansen who, I guess very briefly, was the first backup if I understand correctly.

I'll still be in IRC though there, like everywhere else, I'll be trying to keep my mouth shut as much as possible.

Once I understand whatever it is I don't understand right now (I can hardly say what it is, since if I knew it probably wouldn't be the apparent problem that it is) I'll try to be more active. But since I'm basically kicking myself back down to "simple user" status it means other people can decide whether I'm going to present a negative face to the project, rather than them currently being in the rather unenviable position of probably having to decide if the negative face I'm presenting is bad enough for them to have to strip from me the various positions I seem to have stumbled into.

I can't promise I'll be silent. I am after all human. But I can promise that if something does inspire me to speak up, you're just arguing with another annoying user now and not someone who some people, apparently, may see as one of the "public faces" of Rockbox. I'm no longer a member of the project, and am now just a user like everyone else.

[AlexP]

I for one am very sorry to hear this.  You have done a huge amount for Rockbox, and whilst I may not agree that this was necessary, I applaud you for taking what must have been a very difficult decision for you personally.

On behalf of everybody, thanks very much for everything, both now and in the future.

[LambdaCalculus]

Sorry to see you step down, Llorean. You've been one hell of a great guy, despite what others may think. Your contributions have been tremendous, and as AlexP says, while this may not have been necessary, I have to give you props for making such a difficult personal decision.

Don't disappear on us, though! We still want you to stick around and hang out with us on IRC.

On behalf of everybody in the project and to all contributors, thanks for all the support, beer, and fish.

[GodEater]

Llorean,

I completely understand your decision. It's hard trying to continually answer cries for help in these forums when some percentage of the user base always feels like they need to respond to your helping hand by biting it off. You've done years of selfless service here, and have often been on the receiving end of verbal abuse because of it. It's completely unacceptable, and I don't know how you've managed to keep the will to go on sometimes. I personally took a long time out (although less public, I just stopped coming to the forums) myself a while back because I was fed up of the bile. I'm humbled now to take up some of the reins you've left, and will try to do you proud. These forums won't descend into chaos just because you're not around to prevent it anymore.

To reiterate something you've always maintained to any readers of this post, the rules on this forum may seem harsh to some, but you really have no idea how impossible it would become to find ANYTHING useful here if we didn't enforce them. Your departure as an Adminstrator won't change that.

I'm very very disappointed in the users who've forced you to this decision, and I hope that rather than viewing this as some sort of petty personal victory, they come to realise what an important asset the Rockbox Project has lost.

Strong warning : Any comments in the vein of "Good riddance" will be come down on like a tonne of bricks.

[AlexP]

Hear hear, GodEater managed that much more eloquently than I.

[pwhodges]

I am here only as an interested user, but I have come to view you, Llorean, to some extent as "the voice of Rockbox".  I have admired the way you have run these forums and dealt with questions, and in particular the manner and tone of your posts - in my opinion you don't need to work on changing them.  I can only say that those whom they may have upset need to learn more about how online communication works for the best.

[Chronon]

Let me also say that I am sorry to see this.  I appreciate the tireless work you have put in here and I think it's clear that you have a lot of support here.  I have always respected your consistency in enforcing the rules.

As GodEater says, we'll hold down the fort during your break.

[LambdaCalculus]

Agreed with Chronon; let's keep the place going strong. Llorean, you'll have nothing to worry about! These forums will be in good hands. We anticipate the day you return to us.

Again, reiterating what GodEater says, any posts along the lines of "Good riddance" or any variation thereof is going to come slamming back like a ton of bricks.

[psycho_maniac]

wow i cant believe it. ok i did seem some posts as upsetting (i cant find any for proof as i havent been on much and probably forgot them) but i did get the point of them. they were helpful posts but also i did see some as upsetting but then i would reread it and it would hit me that it it was upsetting the 2nd time. i clicked on this topic and did not expect it to Llorean to be the thread starter. Sorry to hear this. I was shocked when i read this.

[Thecoolgman]

Well that's to bad.

[DrRemulak]

Not all of us noobs think badly of you.  I'm just a plain Rockbox user and enjoy reading the forums.  I don't think your tone or the tone of any mod here is overly negative.  The moderation is uniform and easy to understand.  Just my 2 cents.

Take care and thanks for the hard work.

[cool_walking_]

Anyone insulting Llorean's honour will have it come back up at them like a tonne of bricks from diagonally underneath and to the left of them.

[ThaCrip]

@ Llorean, with all due respect...

im one of the people who feels Llorean is a little to aggressive/arrogant etc in his posts at times and i take a little offense to it but i never really brang it up, but i feel this post is the perfect time to do it.

as far as the other admins etc.... they all seem pretty cool as far as i can tell as i never really had a problem with them as i don't detect that aggressiveness/arrogance from them that i get from Llorean.

p.s. not trying to start anything here, but im just giving my honest opinion of the situation is all.

[gevaerts]

but i feel this post is the perfect time to do it.

Don't be surprised if people start avoiding you

[Multiplex]

It is a shame, you have been a major contributor Llorean.

I've seen you  posting all times of the day and night - such that on one occasion I even searched to see if you'd announced a visit to Europe...

I've been following Rockbox since the H100 port and definitely have admired Llorean's firm but fair responses when I'd have not managed to keep polite.

Have a good break - you deserve it, but please come back to your role when you feel ready.