Please do not post the same thing in multiple places.
If windows does not see it then I don't expect Rockbox Utility too. Make sure itunes is not running (including any services), and try putting it into emergency disk mode
Menu + select to reboot, then I think menu + play when the Apple logo appears for disk mode.
Also try it on a different computer and with a different cable if possible.
What do you mean "reload the software"? Was Rockbox already working on it?